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 Post subject: Retired People
PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 10:45 am 
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Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 1:17 pm
Posts: 1002
Location: Minervois Nr Carcassonne 11
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

Well for example, the other day I went into town and went into a shop. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I went up to him and said, "Come on son, how about giving a senior citizen a break?"

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

I called him a Nazi.

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres.

So I called him a piece of dog shit.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.

Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes.

The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't give a shit. I came into town by bus.

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important at our age.

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Never forget that you are unique, just like everyone else!
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 Post subject: Re: Retired People
PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 10:48 am 
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Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 1:17 pm
Posts: 1002
Location: Minervois Nr Carcassonne 11
The Duck

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck."

"You noticed then," quips the duck.

"And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.

"Of course I can talk," says the duck. "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly," says the landlord, "Sorry about that, it's just that we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing around this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck. Then the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.

This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him, "You're with the circus aren't you? I know this duck that would be brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer and everything!"

"Sounds marvellous," says the ringleader, "Get him to give me a call."

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the landlord says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job paying really good money!"

"Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"

"At the circus," says the landlord.

"The circus?" the duck enquires.

"That's right," replies the landlord.

"The circus?"

"Yes!"

"That place with the big tent?"

"Yeah!"

"With all the animals?"

"Of course!"

"With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle," asks the duck.

"That's right," says the landlord.

The duck now looking confused replied:-

"What the f**k would they want with a plasterer?"

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John.
Never forget that you are unique, just like everyone else!
My woodturing
http://johnamandiers.wix.com/johns-w-o-w-1


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 Post subject: Re: Retired People
PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 3:03 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2009 9:02 pm
Posts: 11731
Location: 24, Jumilhac-le-Grand
:lol: Brilliant!

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The earth is full of music, for those with ears to hear .... H Lang Jones


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 Post subject: Re: Retired People
PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 3:26 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2009 4:03 pm
Posts: 24533
Location: Ille et Villaine (35)
:lol: Nice ones !


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