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 Post subject: What Happens When You Die?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 5:41 am 
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This question came up over lunch yesterday with friends and none of us knew the answer.

Do they have funeral homes here in France where you can go and say your last goodbyes? I know burials quickly follow deaths - 3-6 days - but although there are plenty of pompes funebres around can you go there to view a body?

And what about organ donation? I know when the BSE scare arose years ago they stopped Brits from giving blood - is that still the case and does it mean they don't want our organs too? Do you have to opt out of organ donation?

None of us knew the answers and as we're all getting a bit long in the tooth its questions we should really know the answers to. I'm sure there are a few of you out there who may know the answers.

Thanks

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 Post subject: Re: What Happens When You Die?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 6:19 am 
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Consent to organ donation is now presumed (since 01.01.17). You can opt out - wholly or partially - by either telling a proche, signing a paper and giving same to your family or registering with the registre national des refus.

Don't know anything about funerals here. All I know is that according to the death certs we've translated, it's nearly always the funeral director or a hospital employee who informs the mairie and signs the certificate with the maire.

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 Post subject: Re: What Happens When You Die?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 6:40 am 
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Much the same as in the UK. The undertaker will discuss with the NOK the arrangements, including whether you want to view the body, whether it is to be cremated or buried, details of any services etc. They take the lead in the arrangements.

OH's uncle died here in France while he was on holiday, and for various reasons the family decided not to fly his body back to the UK but to have his funeral here. It was pretty much what they would have done in the UK but two thirds of the cost.


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 Post subject: Re: What Happens When You Die?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:39 am 
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Location: Le Périgord Vert (24)
You can view the body, anybody can view the body. On our way to the shops we pass the funeral home and we know someone has died by the fact of the shutters being open. So we jokingly feel each other's pulse to make sure it's not us. 8-|

A friend of mine died, a fellow petanqueur, and so I went to the funeral home. Several people were outside and in the lobby, quietly conversing. I went past after greeting them and the funeral director showed me the correct door.

Inside was Jean-Claude, face uncovered, flanked by his ex-wife, who I did not know, and a friend, who I did. I was introduced and the wife was touched that I had come and allowed me to briefly approach the body. On the wall at the foot was a small shelf with a book of condolence open. I wrote an appropriate sentence and quietly left. All very civilised.

Our problem is not with all that but with approaching the mairie and asking about booking a double plot, and paying. In many ways we are philosophical about death but we have this thought that, as we are both well advanced in years, it might alarm the so helpful secretary into thinking that one of us is on the verge. :shock:

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 Post subject: Re: What Happens When You Die?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:55 am 
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Surely a double grave is just dug deeper so the second coffin goes in on top of the first?

Does anyone know if they recycle graves in France as they do in Switzerland?

J

p.s. with all the talk of atheism and morality, when I read the title I expected an "afterlife" thread!


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 Post subject: Re: What Happens When You Die?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 9:15 am 
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niemeyjt wrote:
Surely a double grave is just dug deeper so the second coffin goes in on top of the first?

Does anyone know if they recycle graves in France as they do in Switzerland?

J

p.s. with all the talk of atheism and morality, when I read the title I expected an "afterlife" thread!


Maybe you pay extra for a double side by side. Certainly another friend is buried alongside his wife, judging by the width of the grave. We often joke (a joke he would have enjoyed) that neither would have been happy with that arrangement, but someone must have booked it in the first place, because they died several years apart.

I think they re-cycle graves in France too, certainly in some parts, because a previous neighbour explaining a trip with her daughters to Provence, said they were going to the first husband's grave and to pay the mairie there for the next 30 years, or whatever it was. Otherwise he would have to vacate.

As to afterlife, it is precisely my firm belief that there isn't one, which persuades me I don't give a stuff if no-one pays the rent. :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: What Happens When You Die?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 9:27 am 
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Being of Buddhist ilk I strongly believe in reincarnation, we are here to learn and what we don't in this life we come back to learn more.( strong memories of former life etc) but as I hate flys and am always swatting them I'll return as one :) :)
As for the body I believe in cremation and if it were allowed ashes spread over veggie patch.
Here you can buy a colobarium? For the urn, Which mami wants to have.

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 Post subject: Re: What Happens When You Die?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 9:54 am 
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Thank you for the response. I also believe in the afterlife and reincarnation - my belief is we're put on this earth at this time for a reason, whether it is to learn or teach I don't know, but believe that once we've met that goal we pass over to another dimension before being reincarnated. I'd hate to think that this life is the only one we ever get.

I just know that is going to open up a hornets nest of believers against disbelievers but everyone is entitled to their opinions.

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 Post subject: Re: What Happens When You Die?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 10:52 am 
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A couple we know went their separate ways and some years later he killed himself, leaving a nasty entanglement of debts. On visiting the notaire she was assured of inheriting the house, held in tontine, but was also advised to ensure she was not held responsible for his debts, which was done by signing a form at the courts - need help here as I don't know the legal details. Otherwise she could have been held responsible for his debts although she had no knowledge of his business dealings.
The cause of death is never mentioned on a French death certificate.
He was cremated and the ashes taken back to England.

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 Post subject: Re: What Happens When You Die?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 11:25 am 
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sueindoors wrote:
I just know that is going to open up a hornets nest of believers against disbelievers but everyone is entitled to their opinions.

Don't worry about that, sueindoors ! Of course everyone is entitled to their opinions - and their beliefs. After all, most people probably believe in something, be it a god or science. My great great uncle was a scientist and a theologian ! He believed strongly in education for women ()in the 19th century. Most of his students were Free church of Scotland who I always think of as a bit tight in their beliefs !


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 Post subject: Re: What Happens When You Die?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 11:34 am 
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sueindoors wrote:
I know when the BSE scare arose years ago they stopped Brits from giving blood - is that still the case and does it mean they don't want our organs too? Do you have to opt out of organ donation?


The blood ban is still in place across much of Europe - so it is interesting what they do about organs - as I have posted before, my best man died of CJD believed to have come from a corneal transplant.

J


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 Post subject: Re: What Happens When You Die?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:41 pm 
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Location: Here and there, SW France
niemeyjt wrote:
Surely a double grave is just dug deeper so the second coffin goes in on top of the first?

Does anyone know if they recycle graves in France as they do in Switzerland?


Yes if a graveyard gets too full and no-one is tending a grave, notices are posted/served and after a respectable period of time things can be moved. I'm not sure of the legal details but I know it happens!

If you're cremated, many French graveyeards now also offer a 'colombarium' where urns of ashes can be placed. The one in our village churchyard is right at the top, giving the ashes a stunning view over the Lot valley :)

For formal info on what to do when someone dies the public info link is :
https://www.service-public.fr/particuliers/vosdroits/N165
If you follow it through it even goes to what you can/cannot do with the ashes.

Cardboard coffins (cercueil en carton) are available, but you may have to push your funeral director for that option as they aren't common here and he'll probably not make as much money.

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 Post subject: Re: What Happens When You Die?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 4:47 pm 
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I like the idea of my ashes being mixed with earth and chucked in a hole where a tree or shrub is then planted. At great cost, you can have your ashes mixed with cement into a mould then dropped into a part of the sea where the coral can grow on it. Would love that! :)

What's the simplest/cheapest way of doing a will?

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 Post subject: Re: What Happens When You Die?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 5:02 pm 
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where there's a will...............a whole bunch of relatives too. ;)

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 Post subject: Re: What Happens When You Die?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 6:11 pm 
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Hello,

My husband's ashes are in a 'colombarium' ...and at the time I paid for my right to be placed next to him at the Mayor's office. I think the cost was approximately 300 euros for a 30 year lease. Before I drop I'll probably add another 30 years if I have the dough. The funeral director I used did not offer a cardboard "casket". It was a very inexpensive wooden one (but good looking) with plastic hardware.

Family visited him for approximately an hour before we were en route. (His body was covered by the choice of his "blood" relatives.)

Hope this gives you an idea.

Cheers,
Amy


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 Post subject: Re: What Happens When You Die?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 6:26 pm 
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I think that I am OK when the time comes

When I was first in France I helped both the Club Olympique Briochen and the Junior Cotes d'Armor cycling team, race in the UK a few times, and "stuff" the junior BCF team, winning 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 5th,& 6th now one of those young riders is the owner of a Fun airum, and he has said he will do what is needed when my time is up, like no church service, no slow driving to the "crem", body in a couple of cement bags (to save on costs) :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: What Happens When You Die?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 9:45 pm 
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[quote="Bayleaf"
What's the simplest/cheapest way of doing a will?[/quote]

Un testament olograph, a hand-written will which doesn't need a notaire BUT best to register it with one on the central registry so it can be found.
see under 'comment le rediger' here
https://www.service-public.fr/particuliers/vosdroits/F770
We registered them via a notaire and the fee was 21€48 last year for both hubby's & mine.

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 Post subject: Re: What Happens When You Die?
PostPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2017 8:20 am 
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I was going to reply to this yesterday, but got sidetracked, but this is possibly of interest and in English

https://www.angloinfo.com/how-to/france ... eath-dying

Organ donatoin, not too sure why not? Piano is OK as far as I know too :-bd :-bd :- :-

Lets face it the only definate in life is that you ain't going to get out of it alive!

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