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 Post subject: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 9:58 am 
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From personal experiences, to other people's woes or wonders, from the ridiculous to the sublime - put your handy Do's and Don'ts here, you might save someone else the grief!!


DON'T feel you need to integrate with the whole of your new community straight away; the softly softly approach works just as well, if not better.

DON'T expect things to happen quickly, it will just cause yourself extra stress - chill!

DON'T use UK toilet paper in the French toilet system, it will probably cause great damage to your fosse septique (although I stand to be corrected here!)

DO, if you have a top-loading washing machine in an outershed, check there is nothing inside before you put the washing in, or you might find a very clean but very dead lizard in with your smalls!! :o Yes, really!

DO stock up on extra warm winter clothing - suddenly thermal underwear is the in-thing!

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 Post subject: Re: Quick Do's and Don'ts of Since Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 10:05 am 
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DON'T open your windows during a spell of hot weather (AKA "summer"), especially if you have an older, stone-built house. That way the house will stay cool - especially if south-facing shutters are left only part-opened.

DO start planning and sourcing your winter wood delivery in August or before - it can be very hard to find supplies once the cold weather arrives.

DO get used to everything closing between 12pm and 2pm, as well as Mondays and Sunday afternoons.

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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 10:26 am 
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Don't expect anyone to answer your emails. If they do, look on it as a nice bonus.

Don't listen to English people who tell you that the French are rude and unhelpful. Anyone who tells you this is likely to have spent one weekend in Paris, and that is their sole experience of the French.


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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 10:27 am 
Do compare like with like - a rural village in England is not so different from a rural village in France, and there is plenty of poverty and crime around the big cities in France.

Do try to speak French, however badly - is appears to be much appreciated.

Do prepare a dossier with a paper trail of your life, with duplicates - birth, marriage and divorce certificates, bank statements, passport, driving licence, utility bill, lease or purchase document for your home, carte grise and insurance and controle technique for your car. You can be asked for papers for the strangest things in France, like buying a Pay as You Go mobile phone.

Do use local labour wherever possible - French and English regulations in electric supply and plumbing are different, and bringing in workmen from England will not endear you to the locals.

Don't try to cut corners by using the black economy - you may find it costs you dear in the long run.

Do try to rent in an area you are thinking of as your permanent home, before you actually sign a purchase agreement.
Things can look very different at different times of the day or year.

If you are going to rent out your own property, be very careful. I was amazed that none of my four (English) landlords bothered to check my references. It can be very difficult to evict a tenant, especially in Winter and if they are over 60.

Do tell your French neighbours how much you love their beautiful country - it has stood me in good stead in every area I have lived in, and it is the truth anyway.


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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 10:32 am 
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DO be prepared to change your tastes in food and seek the French alternative of your favourite food stuffs. They are just as good, and often cheaper, and you might well discover a world of new delights!

DO always try to get three estimates for work, in writing, and don't necessarily be tempted to take the cheapest cash quote, unless there is still a guarantee of the work offered in writing.

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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 10:52 am 
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DO read up about how things are done in France. There are dozens of books available on every facet of life here !

DON'T assume because something is done differently in France that isn't any good !

DO think carefully about buying a dream house and land in the country if you are used to town living and conveniences. Winters can be bleak and very lonely in rural areas if you're used to the bustle of town life.

DON'T close your UK bank account if you think there is the slightest chance of returning there to live !

DO remember that in France, if you don't ask the question, they will not volunteer the information.


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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 11:04 am 
And those ten acres of paddocks which you got for a song will need to be looked after - if you don't make some arrangement for cutting the grass or grazing it will soon return to scrubland. Large houses cost a fortune to heat, insure, clean - don't be carried away because it is so much cheaper than in England - there is a reason that the canny French have not bought it.
Do be aware that one gite won't support you, even if you have 100% occupancy, which you won't. Don't believe the rubbish spouted on 'A Place in the Sun.'


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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 11:08 am 
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Do introduce yourself early on and be polite/friendly with the local mayor and his/her staff. He/she has a lot of power / influence and can be very helpful.

Don't be surprised if local builders come and look at a job but then disappear and never send an estimate.

Don't be surprised if the good local builder you finally choose tells you he can't start your job for a year / eighteen months.

Do keep calm when trying to get service out of French telephone call centres run by the utilities. Take it as a good opportunity to practice your French. Start the conversation by saying you do not speak French well and please could they speak slowly. Be very humble and grateful if they actually give you service.

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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 11:44 am 
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I had some trouble thinking of anything to add to an excellent list - well done Bayleaf for the initiative!

DON'T be surprised after handing over a bunch of documents requested by an official (nos. 1 -8 on the list she kindly gave you last week) when she liooks surprised and asks you where documents 9 - 20 are.

DON'T assume that what was OK in the UK is allowed here. Look before you leap.

And if there's no answer to your particular question in this thread, DO remember to ask - someone is likely to know.

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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 11:48 am 
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This is great thanks everyone !


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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 11:50 am 
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DO check the hardiness of certain plants before you bring them from your UK home to France. Some plants that flourish with the UK climate could easily perish with the extreme changes in temprature in France (although there seems to be less difference in the last few years!!), and I'm referring to the extreme heat/dryness of the summer as well as the brrrrrrr of the winter!!

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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 11:54 am 
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DON'T be surprised to find that you know a lot more about French admin than your french friends. It's amazing what you pick up from reading other people's questions on a forum ;)

clare


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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 11:55 am 
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If others can learn from our mistakes/learning curves - that must be a good thing! :D


We'll keep saying this one....

DO TRY TO LEARN THE LANGUAGE!!! As much as possible - and keep learning, even if it's just one new sentence or verb a day. My children have started going more regularly to the local library after school (more because we never get there for school closing time!!) and I was reading some of the children's books they brought home. Brilliant! Fills me with confidence at reading easy French, I've learned some stuff and it's usually in big print for my failing eyesight!! Highly recommended, and a yearly ticket is only about 7 or 8 Euros! :-bd

Of course, any French radio or TV is doubly brilliant to soak your ears with hearing the language and picking out words.

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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 11:55 am 
Be helpful when you can be. It is much appreciated.
Accept help gracefully even if you dont really need it.
Remember that people are the same the world over whatever their language and if you have to fight your corner do so. Do not feel intimidated.
Also remember that when the french shake their head and say it cant be done what they really mean is well maybe , well actually its fine but it takes a while to get there. So be patient.
Do keep your sense of humour in all situations if possible. Contrary to a lot of popular opinion they do like a good laugh and it breaks down many barriers. :)


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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:03 pm 
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blondie wrote:
Do keep your sense of humour in all situations if possible. Contrary to a lot of popular opinion they do like a good laugh and it breaks down many barriers. :)


When we arrived in France with the caravan in August 2 quite elderly ladies offered to give us a push with it ! our drive and the street are quite narrow so hubby was doing a lot of shunting around they laughed when we refused their kind offer and said it would be ok, they held their heads in their hands and then cheered when we eventually had it in place ! :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:11 pm 
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Bayleaf wrote:
Of course, any French radio or TV is doubly brilliant to soak your ears with hearing the language and picking out words.

I think this is the most important advice yet.
Don't isolate yourself with UK media. Try to read the local newspaper and try and watch the French news on tv where the French spoken is very clear and precise, and your understanding of the language will come on in leaps and bounds.
Learning French really did change my life, and apart from the obvious advantage of being able to communicate correctly, it gave me access to a whole new culture. :)

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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:20 pm 
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Whenever we go shopping, I try hard to get whoever is on the checkout to smile.
A small thing, I know, but if do manage to get a smile, it makes my day!

It's surprising how often the smile is remembered the next time.

Also works in Tax Offices, Sous-Prefectures etc!

Here's one I made earlier... :) use it wisely, it is powerful stuff!

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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:23 pm 
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raindog wrote:
Don't isolate yourself with UK media. Try to read the local newspaper and try and watch the French news on tv where the French spoken is very clear and precise, and your understanding of the language will come on in leaps and bounds.
Learning French really did change my life, and apart from the obvious advantage of being able to communicate correctly, it gave me access to a whole new culture. :)

Excellent and sound advice, Raindog. It's tough learning a language but like you, it was certainly worth persisting with French TV and newspapers (and music !) for the reasons you state above :-bd

Crossed with RobiN :
I smiled at a motorbike gendarme who cruised through our village with his visor up....... and got a big grin back :-bd (that's me 10 points up on you, RobiN ;))


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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:27 pm 
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Blaze wrote:
I smiled at a motorbike gendarme who cruised through our village with his visor up....... and got a big grin back :-bd (that's me 10 points up on you, RobiN ;))
I don't think RobiN smiling at a gendarme would have the same effect Blaze. :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:27 pm 
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Hello,

One I have found that is very important...when you have a problem with the Maire or other public services DON'T go in there upset and angry,; because you've have filled in the proper paper a hundred times!!! ~x( ...and a terribly frustrated to the point of expolding...

Go in the office with the calm attitude and say "I have a problem and I hope (I am sure) that you will be able to help me solve it with your help!
It puts them in the position of saving you, instead of feeling aggression when they first meet you. almost every problem I have had has been easily solved and they even go overboard to help you work it out...everyone feels good about saving someone ...be sure and say thank you and that it never would have been done so quickly without their help. ;) Obreynne

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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:39 pm 
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blondie wrote:
Also remember that when the french shake their head and say it cant be done what they really mean is well maybe , well actually its fine but it takes a while to get there. So be patient.


Oh yes, this is so true.


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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:42 pm 
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A few donts from the plumbing and heating side of things, having been a UK trained plumber, and finished up working in France

DONT Buy UK copper tube its thinner in wall thickness than the French copper tube, and the UK uses 15 mm tube which is like trying to find hens teeth in France

DONT Even think about buying plastic soil and waste pipes in the UK, the sizes are different in France, and its just about all solvent welded in France rather than the UK push fit

DONT Think that French Central heating materials prices are a rip off, and decide to "save money" and buy in the UK, because when the boiler breaks down, even if it was made in Europe, or by a company that has its main offices in the UK, but its parent company is European, there is a 99% chance that it was made specificly for the UK market, and you will not be able to get spares or a servicing agent in France

DONT Buy any oil fired boiler or cooker boiler in the UK unless the manufacture states that the appliance will run on 35 second diesel oil, most UK boilers and cooker boilers are built to run on 28 second kerosene, and you cannot bulk buy this in France

DONT Do the plumbing as it would be done in the UK, (with a cold water storage tank in the roof space, and copper hot water cylinder) everything is off the mains in France

DONT Think that you will save a "Bob or two" by buying a UK unvented hot water cylinder, for an all mains water supply in France, you wont, it will more than likely cost you double what you would have paid for a cylinder in France

DONT Think that you can buy plastic expansion tanks (UK style) and 1/2" ball valves with a copper float for central heating systems, (Open vented systems are very rare and getting even more rare has time moves on and the expansion tank is filled by "back feeding from the boiler), 99.9% of the French central heating systems are of the pressurised type, even solid fuel boilers (these are fitted with the appropriate safety devices)

DONT Even if you are GasSafe registered in the UK, do gas fitting the UK way, using soft solder on the copper tube or annealing the copper to bend it, both are prohibited in France, fittings must be used and hard solder with a minimum of 8% silver in the rod be used, which must also be GDF approved

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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:47 pm 
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remember you are in france ,it will be different ,it won't be the uk with moderately better weather and cheaper wine.don't go expecting to change a thing a]they've been doing it their way for a looong time and b] why change for you anyway

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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:49 pm 
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Do remember, if you change it, it won't be the France you loved in the first place.


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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:49 pm 
I have made friends with the ladies in the mairie in every department I have lived in and have had endless help with difficult phone calls and sorting out my carte grise , using their copier and printer, etc. They probably think I am mad, an old lady living alone in a foreign country. I am happy to play the 'poor little old woman' card if it gets me the help I need (before jetting off to snorkel in some tropical paradise!) I tell them how wonderful they are and take in a box of biscuits or chocolates. They often ask why I have come to live in their area, and I reply, truthfully, that it is because it is so beautiful, and French people have been so kind to me.

We did talk about compiling a list of useful helplines or the numbers of utilities to make into a stickie. I know I have used the English speaking help lines for both FranceTelecom/Orange and the Ameli/CPAM, but I would have to look up the numbers.

I never ceased to be amazed at the helpful replies you can get to almost any query on this forum. Being a technophobe, I pester people a good deal, and find I get unfailingly kind and helpful replies.


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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:58 pm 
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DON'T give a pot of chrysanths as a thank you present :ymblushing:

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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:08 pm 
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clarelouise wrote:
DON'T give a pot of chrysanths as a thank you present :ymblushing: clare

...... unless it's someone you don't like :lol: :lol: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:11 pm 
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Otherwise it's your funeral!!! :lol:

Remind me of the relevance of Chrysanths? Is it for decorating the cemeterys at All Saints day? I get confused in November!

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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:14 pm 
Don't buy your wood burner based just on the size of the room. Do take into consideration the fact that the low winter sun may make room warmer, especially if you have good insulation. If you buy a wood burner which is too warm then you will find yourself wearing shorts all winter B-)


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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:24 pm 
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Kathy wrote:
Do remember, if you change it, it won't be the France you loved in the first place.

totally agree Kathy,and that would be the case for most people here, but in 'other places' people don't seem to feel the same affection for france,[ possibly they moved on the wave of cheap homes ,and tv programmes] and don't seem to want or be able to change their mind set

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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:44 pm 
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Don't think, that despite you both falling in love with France, the Department, the Commune, the house, and the ensuing laid back lifestyle you are both going to feel the same 3 - 4 years later. There's every chance that one or other of you may suddenly realise that all those things no longer apply, and foster a deep yearning to return to suburbia, John Lewis, Tesco, traffic, hordes of people, etc., and in the worst case scenario that person summarily clutters off, leaving you to cope on your own. It happens, believe me, it happens...

Chris

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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 2:34 pm 
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I believe you !!


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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:32 pm 
Chris'nJulie wrote:
suburbia, John Lewis, Tesco, traffic, hordes of people,


Sounds like heaven :-bd , not to mention the tube in the rush hour, traffic jams on Streatham High Road at 03h00, continual sounds of ambulance and police.

My do's;
Paris, Marseille, Lyon, Bordeaux, Lille, Strabourg, gosh, any town of over 100.000 served by the TGV really.

My don'ts; Er . . . . . all the rest :lol: .


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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:42 pm 
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DONT FORGET If you cook by Butane gas, to keep a spare cylinder under cover and in a sheltered place, other wise when you come to use it, in the winter time, you will find the gas frozen solid, and you will have to wait for the gas to warm up and turn to liquid before you can use it

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 Post subject: Re: Do's and Dont's of Living in France...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:58 pm 
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peake wrote:
DONT FORGET If you cook by Butane gas, to keep a spare cylinder under cover and in a sheltered place, other wise when you come to use it, in the winter time, you will find the gas frozen solid, and you will have to wait for the gas to warm up and turn to liquid before you can use it


And make sure you actually have a spare....ours always runs out while I'm cooking Sunday lunch :-q

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